To Google or Not to Google, That is the Question

Earlier this week, Richmond.com published this Dating in Richmond column about cyber stalking exes. While The Ladies would advise you to defriend, delete, and otherwise disengage from any toxic exes in your life, cyber stalking... err, investigation sometimes has its merits. Fifty years ago, women often met their significant others through a family member or friend. In today's world, we frequently find ourselves going on dates with men who are outside our normal social circles, particularly if we've met them online. This raises an interesting question: Should you google a man before you meet him?

Personally, I'm a huge proponent of doing some online research into the man you'll be seeing. Not only does it help you determine if the guy is being truthful about his background, but it allows you to steer conversation towards interests you have in common. Additionally, if you share my tendency to stick your foot in your mouth, having information about the guy ahead of time can help you avoid a blunder.

Truthfully, there are darker reasons to look someone up as well. I once broke off a date with a man who had shirtless photos publicly visible on his facebook page. Let's just say I was not interested in seeing all that in person! One friend once went on several dates with a man before discovering a blog warning that he had an STD. We should all be wary of the man whose facebook profile still contains multiple photos of his last girlfriend. On the flipside, google searches have also shown me that previous beaus came from particularly distinguished families, had won golf tournaments they were too humble to mention, or had interesting academic accomplishments that weren't likely to come up in conversation.

One word to the wise: NEVER tell a man that you've done online research on him until you're far into a relationship--even if he asks! A guy once went into great detail about all the ways he had researched me on our second date. (It didn't help that he had decided I was the perfect woman and had already shared this with all his friends). Even as a champion internet researcher myself, my date's lack of discretion in revealing this left me with an icky feeling. Don't do it, kids!

Readers: Do you research your dates? Would it bother you if your dates researched you?